Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
