I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
