non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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