i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
