like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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