So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
