these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
