Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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