office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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