is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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