dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
