My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
