1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
