Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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