We need to rekindle our bromance
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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