let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Someone came in the potted fern
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
