imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
