Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
