Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
