Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
