Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
