Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
