Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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