I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
