Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Small penises have feelings too.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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