I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
