just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
