Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
