Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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