i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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