Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
