no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
