We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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