I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
