She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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