So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
