Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My bed smells like the plague
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
