Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
