What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
