Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
