There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am puke
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
