sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
