trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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