the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
