matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
