I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
