I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
