D3 body, D1 cock
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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