areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
