Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
