how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
