do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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